


we don’t share feelings

by soulofme



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Drabble, M/M, POV First Person, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 20:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofme/pseuds/soulofme
Summary: he can do anything to me and i'd fall right into him, lose myself in his hands and his eyes and every goddamn inch of him.





	we don’t share feelings

**Author's Note:**

> title from nobody by bevy maco

there's heat pooling in my stomach. right in my gut, deep down where i can't even see it. it hurts in the best kind of way, the kind of way that makes me chase after him like he can take the pain away. i think he can. i think he can do anything to me and i'd fall right into him, lose myself in his hands and his eyes and every goddamn inch of him.

i feel his tongue teasing the seam of my lips, playful and insistent, and that heat grows bigger. i feel his breath against the side of my face. warm. wet. smelling of altoids.

i'm caught up in the ocean, battered by tall, thunderous waves. i can't breathe. i'm drowning, right here when i stand, right here with the saltwater in my lungs and my eyes and all around me. the world's tilting on its axis. my every thought is centered on him. i can't hear anything, just my own ragged breaths. he's got a hand around the back of my neck, his thumb pressing solidly against my pulse. i wonder if he realizes that my heart's throbbing for no one but him.

 _"don't expect anything."_ i open my eyes and expect to see a hard gaze, something cold and piercing i'll see long after my eyes have shut. i don't see anything close to that. he looks open, honest. honest enough that i can fucking taste it in the air.

he walks away and leaves me with the taste of altoids still lingering on my tongue. i don't stare after him, don't look anywhere near his direction. i close my eyes and let the breeze wash over me, cold and grounding, whisking away his presence. it's like he's never been here, like i imagined him all by myself.

i sit there, down on that sandy path, and when i get to my feet my knees buckle. i think they're going to give in. i pray that they don't. i make my way home and try to forget him. forget his lips. his eyes. his hands. i forget to greet mama when i turn my key into the lock. i forget to scrub him away, to let him swirl down the drain and go somewhere far away from me.

i lay down in bed and realize i'm high. high off that blunt. high off the saltwater. high off him.

i close my eyes and i don't think of him. don't see him, don't feel him, don't taste him. i've left him on the beach with the crashing waves. i've left him like a seashell buried in the sand for someone else to find. but i haven't forgotten him. i can't. he's ingrained in me. he has branded himself on me. he's a skin deep itch that i can't scratch no matter how hard i try. i let his words echo around in head, let them seep into my bones. my answer makes itself known, a bold presence in the forefront of my mind. i don't expect anything from him.

i expect everything.


End file.
